CUPCAKE CONFESSIONS

Confession: I ATE NOT ONE...BUT TWO CUPCAKES!!

I took the day off Friday for a mental health holiday. I stayed on plan the whole day! I even ate out with mom for lunch at Longhorn and did NOT ask for the bread! So far, so good, right?? I later took my nephews to the mall, yet I still stayed on plan. Wellll, I snuck a French fry or two, but ate my protein and veggies as I was supposed to.

Maybe sneaking the French fry should have been a sign that the worst was yet to come!

Saturday morning I got up a little late and had a full day. I did not have time to plan my meal “game plan” for the day. Didn’t having my usual egg, cereal, and fruit breakfast…only managed to get my fruit and supplement in. I spent most of the day with my mom at a volunteer music festival event. Still I managed to stay away from the funnel cakes, hotdogs, frozen lemonade and fried fish...... oh funnel cakes..yummm! It wasn’t until I got to a good friend’s house for her daughter’s birthday party that my knees buckled…CUPCAKES!!!  Chocolate Mickey Mouse CUPCAKES with Oreo cookie (my fav) ears!

THE CULPRIT!

Not to mention the hotdogs and pasta salad! I was starving and I thought I could just have a spoon full of the pasta salad, the hot dog without the bun, and the fruit. I thought I could handle this, I would not want the cupcakes, I could say no. HA! YEAH RIGHT!  I decided, hey I can have one! And it was soooooo goood.. That cream filling! I immediately felt guilty and thought maybe I should run around with the kiddos to counteract the sugar and fat! As the night wound down there it was again: ANOTHER CUPCAKE... it was like it was screaming my name, COOOOOUURRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTT! And my inner fat girl showed up and ate that cupcake...Yep, CUPCAKE #2!

At this point, I knew I had blown it! I had totally given in! I’d lost my will power! I’m for sure going to re-gain

all the weight I lost! Now, the old Courtney would’ve gone home and beat herself up and thrown in the towel. BUT NO! I decided that this is a process! I will have minor set backs or, as I would like to call them, “teachable moments.” I know now that I need to plan ahead for days when I’m going to be out all day. Maybe bring a healthy alternative to the cupcakes (though nothing can compare!) It’s truly “mind over matter”!  And, well, hell, the matter won Saturday!

I made sure I got right back on the horse Sunday and even got my exercise in! I must say I’m proud of myself. NO, not that I ate the cupcake, but that I acknowledged a weakness and found an instant solution! I’m not going to let temporary weakness...insanity... stop me!

On a better note, as of my Saturday weigh-in, I have lost a total of 6 pounds since Sunday April 22^nd! I just can’t wait until my clothes start to fit better or looser! I promised myself at the 10 pound mark, I would treat myself to a pair of shoes!!!

Choosing My Battles

Adidas had an amazing ad campaign a couple of years ago with the slogan “Impossible is Nothing”. One ad featured two of my favorite athletes and people:  Muhammad and Laila Ali.  They used a quote by Muhammad that has stuck with me for a while:

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It's an opinion. Impossible is not a declaration. It's a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary. Impossible is nothing.”- Muhammad Ali

I have always considered myself a “go getter”, “envelope pusher”,  “never accept NO for an answer”, “push the elevator button ‘til it comes”, “fighter” type person.  I have always fought and worked hard for something I wanted and, consequently, always got it.

For example, in high school I was in the JROTC program, a program mostly comprised of boys. We were required to take a physical fitness test to move up the ranks. The test had timed push-ups, sit-ups, and a mile run. The requirement for the mile run for females was 8 minutes and for males 6 minutes. Well of course I wanted to beat the boys! So, I sought out one of the guys in the program to run with for practice and I ran and ran and ran… The day of the test, my mom was there along with the unit commander. I don’t think she or anybody else thought that I could run it in the boys’ time, let alone beat some of the boys. So I guess she wanted to be there to witness! I think I remember one of the guys saying it was “impossible”. Well, I did just that! I ran the mile in 5:57 and beat 3 boys, shocking my mom, my commander, and everyone else out there! There’s also the time I put my life on hold to study for my national board exam, and blew it out of the water getting the highest score in my graduating class, proving my professors wrong!

For me it seems like when someone says something “can’t be done” or gives me a statistic on what’s possible, it fuels me to no end! It’s like the inner Laila comes out of me.  I’ll show you!

But what happens when YOU are the person telling YOURSELF that it’s impossible? How do you fight yourself?  How do you prove yourself wrong?

I have found that I am my Achilles’ heal with weight loss! I have told myself repeatedly that it was too hard, and that I can’t do it. Giving up…. Quitting…  I have gotten in my own way of what I want! It wasn’t until a couple of days ago when I was surfing YouTube that I ran across the Adidas commercial with Laila and her dad that I found my inspiration.

I, of course, changed the message to fit me and my personal battle. “If a young child can fight cancer…If a paraplegic can win an Olympic medal… I, for sure, can lose a little weight!  I decided then to stop choosing the battles I fight hard and to fight them ALL hard, including losing weight!

I CAN and WILL do this!

Don’t let anyone stop you… including YOU!

Impossible is Nothing…  Rumble Young Girl… Rumble!

Weigh- In #1 4/24/12

3.5 LBS!!! Yep! You read it right! I lost 3.5 in a little less than a week. Went in thinking I would have one of these moments------>

But, nope! I was SHOCKED! I'm sure it's water weight, but it's weight and I want it GONE!   

But..wait...the best part is, I don't have to eat RAW (yuck) veggies anymore and I can have some CARBS or as they say STARCHES! Carbs, starches, I don't care what you call 'em just let me eat 'em! LOL! I have to be honest, that I feel a little better nowadays. I still find it hard to go to sleep at night, but I think that will change when I start incorporating more exercise.. And it's also hard to get up in morning, but I'll attribute that to LAZINESS, SPRING FEVER, oh and NEVER being a morning person...

Nonetheless, I'm encouraged! I've seen results and I know I can do another day! My mantra has been " one day at a time", hopefully that doesn't turn into one hour or minute at a time! LOL!!

Yesterday, I also started looking for bathing suits for my trip to Cancun in June. I won't be my desired weight by then, but hopefully 15 lbs lighter! I want a retro suit.

What you think? It will be one of many! I want to by it a size smaller than I am now, but, I'm not sure... I better get to running, dancing or sumin' to get these thighs under control!

Well... So far so good! Hubby's been the best cheerleader! Po' thang might lose weight too in the process, I haven't cooked him a thing this past week! But once I get the hang of what's ok and what's not, I'll take care of him! Good thing about him, he never complains! Lucky me!

I THINK I CAN... I THINK I CAN...

On Sunday, I started the first phase of my weight loss journey. A phase that consist of eating ONLY: eggs, unlimited protein and raw green veggies, oranges, several supplements, and water...LOTS and LOTS of water! So far, I think I've done pretty well! I haven't cheated or eaten my hubby yet! However, Sunday night dreamed that I ate a soft batch chocolate chip cookie, only to spit it out because I knew I couldn't have it! Looks like my self conscious is even in on the deal!

Weight loss has been a goal of mine pretty much my entire adult life. I think it all started in college. I was very active in high school, you name it, I did it! I ate whatever I wanted and never really gained much weight. After attending college with early dinners, in a town that only McDonalds, KFC, and Burger King were open after hours, quite naturally I picked up a couple of LBs.. However, it wasn't until I decided not to cheer anymore and to discontinue my ROTC scholarship, did the pounds start to pile on. I've done everything under the sun to lose weight: Weight Watchers, Atkins, South Beach, Personal Trainers, etc.... But nothing ever really worked, or maybe it was me be impatient and giving up! It was recent pictures of me at my husband's cousin's wedding that forced me to hit rock bottom! I couldn't believe that was me! And you couldn't tell me that day, that I wasn't cute! I was mistaken...sadly mistaken! Even with my spanx on, my stomach stuck out! Not to mention the size of my arms.. we won't go there! So, after crying and yelling at my hubby and mom  for not telling me how fat I was, I took action! I spoke to co-workers who had recently lost weight and looked fabulous to find out how they did it: QUICK WEIGHT LOSS CENTER! After much deliberation about if I could do it, the money, and THE MONEY. I signed up! I hope that this is the last time, FOR REAL this time! I am committed to lose this weight. I have to! In recent years, I have had problems with my blood pressure, heart palpitations, sore knees, headaches, and I could go on and on.. Did I mention, I'm just 28!

I am taking my life back.. I want to be in control of me! I want to go to the store and up pick my size right away! I want to kiss the 200s goodbye FOR GOOD! .............. I want to LOVE ME and most importantly I WANT TO BE HEALTHY!

So, here's to NO EXCUSES, NOT QUITING, GETTING HEALTHY, AND GETTING MY SEXY BACK!

I think I can...  I think I can.... I KNOW I can!